Seven Lessons Before I was Able to Become Love. Lesson #4: Responsibility

Seven Lessons Before I was Able to Become Love. Lesson #4: Responsibility

About the new blog series: “Seven Lessons Before I was Able to Become Love” is a collection of eight short articles where I share eight values I consider the origin of the person I am today. After the eight articles are all published on my blog, I will be offering a free mini e-book with these as chapters that will easily connect and complete the sequence in one little self-help book that you will be able to download at no cost as my way of saying thank you for letting me be a part of your world and making it possible to HealThruWords®


If you missed lesson #3, please click here.


“I was conditioned to believe life was a given and that I didn’t have any responsibility for my circumstances, how wrong I was.”


One of the natural laws that took me longer to understand was the fact that all the reality I saw outside of me was constantly being influenced by the thoughts and feelings I was sending out thanks to my beliefs. It was hard to assimilate that things out there were just as I had orchestrated them at the subconscious level, for me to live what I needed at a certain point of space and time. And even harder was to accept that if I changed the perspective from where I was looking at my reality, the result would be a brand new reality. Sounded like a magic trick back then.

I spent years reading and listening to masters who had these truths clear and who practiced them on a daily basis. There was a time where I had so much theory in my mind that I felt like a little sponge that had had too much to eat at once. I kept absorbing all that felt right. All that could finally bring me to understand – even at the superficial levels – how this universe worked. The truth kept unfolding and it was so different to what I had been taught in school while I was growing up.

I soon became aware that this was one of the things I needed to acknowledge if I really wanted to succeed in life. I needed to accept my fear when it came to considering going out of my comfort zone and exploring the uncertain. Albert Einstein did me a great favor when he shared that: “no problem could be solved from the same state of consciousness that had created it.” Going deeper into this idea made me understand we all had a natural tendency to prefer our safety zone no matter how small it was and that this was precisely what was limiting us from the life we had all come to live. If I wasn’t willing to embrace my life and accept that I was responsible for all of it, well then I might as well would have to conform to whatever I was living and stop my complaints and criticism. Thank God I wasn’t a conformist!

Once I started to accept that I had been responsible for all my past, for the way people had treated me, and for the type of circumstances I had experienced, life suddenly began to have new meaning, one that I could not believe possible. Like a kid in a candy store, I wanted to taste all the flavors at once! I couldn’t believe all the magic I was witnessing now was caused by my own mind and heart. I had finally accepted magic as real.

What happened next? I started changing all the versions of all the stories in my life! In other words, I decided to change the way I looked at all that had supposedly been negative and started seeing it as the most incredible lessons. Once I proved myself that past events were not static and that they could be changed according to new interpretations, I finally learned the meaning of freedom. It signified I was responsible for feeling bad if I had wanted to, no one else to blame. It meant I was free to start feeling sovereign as I had always been before my own beliefs had started to imprison me.


When we are able to take responsibility for our lives, it is when we are able to empower ourselves and begin the path that can take us to the discovery of who we truly are.

In my personal life, everything changed. From seeing my ex-husband as my worst enemy, now I saw him as the greatest teacher I could ever have. I saw him a few months before he died in 2009, and by then I had totally made peace with him. My perspective changed so drastically that from all the hate I had felt for this man during so many years, out came a new type of love, a healed love that allowed me to see things not only from my point of view but also from his. I felt unconditional love for him. There were no regrets, only love and gratitude for all he had taught me.

In the same way, I started realizing that all the people in my reality had been playing roles according to the lessons I needed. I decided to change the way I saw them all, and slowly but surely all of the villains simply disappeared! There were no baddies left and the way I looked at the world in general changed as a consequence. I stopped focusing on the negative reality that is shown to us on a daily basis through the mainstream media. I was now aware it was my choice to continue reproducing it or simply ignore it. Instead of scarcity I decided to focus on abundance. Instead of conflict I decided to focus on peace. Instead of violence I decided to focus on love. And it all worked for me, of course it did.

I will have to admit that there is still a world out there that is full of scarcity, conflict and violence. But it is not my world any longer. You see, we all create our own world. And when we are able to create a positive individual world for us, we are definitely affecting the bigger scheme of things. So this is my contribution: to have taken responsibility for my own world and continue to transform it in the best version of it I can possibly create. I’m sure your contribution is somehow similar, if not the same. Life takes care of the rest so we don’t have to worry about anything else. Can you imagine the type of world we could all share, if each and every one starts changing their own reality by simply taking responsibility?


Stay tuned for the next blog of “Seven Lessons Before I was Able to Become Love” with Lesson #5: Humility. Coming out next July 5th!

Until next time and don’t forget to be love!


Signature of Roxana Jones, Inspirational Author