Conquering Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

Conquering Depression and Suicidal Thoughts
“I felt utterly exhausted that night, so worn out I didn’t want to live anymore. I showered thousands of kisses on my daughters. I told them how much I loved them and waited until they fell asleep. I was so proud of them; they were the only thing that made me feel that my life had been worth living. My husband’s words during his last visit quickly left their effect on my sick mind and it wasn’t long before I convinced myself that, if I was that old and useless, there was nothing left to live for. Their grandmothers and my sister Betrys would take care of them once I was gone. Moreover, although Sebastián was a poor husband, he was a good father and they would be in good hands. It was already late that night when I locked myself in the bathroom, with a small, sharp knife I took from the kitchen. I spent several hours, seated on the cold marble floor, crying as quietly as I could, and playing around with my veins without finding the nerve to sink the knife in. I only managed to make a superficial cut in the skin of my left wrist, which bled a little. The thought of my daughters acted as a lifesaver. They were the angels who protected me in those moments of profound darkness. Their smiling little faces, their kisses, and the way they said, “I love you, Mommy” passed before me, ever more vividly. I couldn’t let my demons win this battle. Where was the girl whose desperate wish to live had beaten death some few times in her childhood? Where was my self-respect? I had to find it, to make the effort. The time to return to the other side had not yet come.” “While I Was Learning To Become God.” Amazon Bestseller and Award Winner Book
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